Stonewall Scotland | So you think your child is gay, lesbian or bisexual?
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What you can do

So you think your child is gay, lesbian or bisexual?

YouGov polling shows that 81 per cent of people in Britain would be comfortable if their child grew up to be lesbian, gay or bisexual. But that doesn't mean that as a parent you don't have understandable questions or concerns if you think that your child might be gay, lesbian or bisexual. Stonewall Scotland's guide 'So you think your child is gay?' answers some of the most frequent questions asked by parents.


I think that my child might be gay. How can I be sure?

Until your child comes and tells you that they are, or might be, gay or bisexual, you can’t know. Try not to make assumptions and let them come and tell you in their own time. Create a positive environment where your child feels able to talk to you about their sexual orientation, for example, say positive things about LGBT people when they’re on TV and don’t allow people to say negative things about LGBT people under your roof.

But I don’t agree with it.

The truth is, if you've got a problem with the idea of your child being gay, lesbian or bisexual you’re going to have to live with it and accept it. The best thing you can do is to put your feelings about ‘being gay’ to one side and remember that, regardless of your son or daughter’s sexuality, you love them and want them to be happy. As for other family members if they don’t react well initially, put some rules in place and establish what can and can’t be said in front of your child.

Talking about it is a good thing

One thing you can do is give them the information that they need to approach relationships and sex responsibly. Gay, lesbian and bisexual young people often lack access to information about sex and staying safe so, even if you feel like you can’t talk about it personally, you should at least be able to point them in the direction of the information they need.

Won’t being gay make their life harder for them?

What makes life hard for LGBT people is people rejecting them. New laws have made our country fairer and more equal. Same-sex couples can now get married and have children, there is legislation to protect LGBT people in the workplace. There are more LGBT role models in the arts, politics and sport and those people who have a problem with LGBT people are an increasingly small minority. In modern Scotland, LGBT young people can grow up, live happy lives and fall in love with people just like anyone else.

So you think your child is trans?

For more information see our Transitioning section.

Need some more support?

For further information please contact Stonewall's Information Service on 08000 502020 or email